How to Find Your Wife in a Movie Theater

Yesterday my sister E and I went and saw the movie For Greater Glory.  About a dark time in recent Mexican history and a fight for religious freedom, it was interesting and very relevant to today. 

Quick assessment:
-Casting: A+
-Acting: mmmm, sometimes great, sometimes not so much.
-Message: Awesome.
-Costumes and sets: Loved them.
-Plot: Moving and engaging for the first half, but kind of lost direction in the second half.
-Ending: Abrupt.  There are too many characters and storylines that are left hanging.
-Historical Accuracy: I dunno, but I am inspired to do some research now.
-Saint Connection: Movingly portrays the story of Blessed Jose Sanchez del Rio.
-Appropriate for kids?: It is rated R for good reason.  There is a lot of killing.  And torture.  And gruesome murder.  I would think twice for use even with older kids, and maybe only use excerpts to illustrate certain parts of the story.

I am glad that we went and saw it, and I have been thinking about it ever since.  However, you are probably wondering about the title of this blog post.  What does this historic drama have to do with finding your wife in a movie theater?


Em and I were sitting in a theater watching this movie on a Thursday afternoon with three other people.  In the whole place.  Shocker.  So we were a little distracted when a couple walked in at about the hour and a half mark of the movie (only halfway through...).  They entered during a particularly intense scene in which my second favorite character was being killed.  (My favorite was Father Vega- Confession-hearing-priest one minute, guns-blazing-warrior the next.) It was more distracting because the couple was very elderly (God love them) and could not see anything, nor hear each other.  This is what the conversation looked like:

Husband to wife: "Can you see anything?" (More like "CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING???")
Wife: (Feeling along wall.) "NO! Where are you?" 
Husband: (Arms outstretched in opposite direction.) "Where are the seats?"

This went on.  Very loudly.  Unfortunately there were not two seats available in the handicapped access in front of them.  They would have to go either up or down steps to find seats.  So I got up to help them.

Katie to man: (quietly) "Sir, may I help you find a seat?"
No response. (Sound of brutal murder on screen.) (Wife is walking away along wall in opposite direction.)
Katie: (a little louder, tapping on his shoulder.) "Sir, may I help you find a seat?"
No response. (Wife: "Where are you?")
Katie: (Taking  much louder over the battle in the background.) "SIR, I AM GOING TO HELP YOU FIND A SEAT."  (Taking his hand, placing the other on the railing, guiding him up the steps.)

Emily and I were sitting in the first row of the steps on the end, so I told her to move over so that he would not have to go up any more steps then necessary.   She moved to the middle of the row.  I pushed down a seat and invited him to sit.  He just kept walking.

Man: "Where are the seats?"
Katie: "Here sir, sit here." (Ends up sitting almost on top of Emily before I can stop him.)
Man: "WHERE'S MY WIFE?" (grabbing me as I try to get by.)
Katie: "I am going to go get her, sir." (Wife is still working her way in the opposite direction.)
Woman: "Where are the seats?"

I went and got the woman, and with more loud talking I convinced her to let me take her arm and help her up the steps and down the aisle.  She eventually sat next to her husband and let me pass to sit by my sister.  I later found out that the man got a little handsy with Em, and was fiddling around with my purse in the seat next to him.  Emily thought that it would make a great scam- fake elderly vision and hearing loss and swindle unsuspecting folks who come to assistance.  Don't worry- my wallet was still there.

So we all settled back into the movie.  I couldn't help but wonder what this pair of 80+ers were doing at such a graphic movie, and why they came in 90 minutes late.  But I focused instead on the death of Eduardo Verastegui, which was very sad in my book.

However, just as I was immersed in the movie a few minutes later, we were interrupted again.

Wife: "WELL, WHAT SHOULD WE DO?"
Husband: "WELL, I DON'T KNOW."
Wife: "LET'S LEAVE."
Husband: "WHAT???"
Wife: (Already making her way out the door.)


And with that, after all of the time just getting them into the seats, they just up and left.

I suppose they realized they were suppose to be next door at Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.